I guess it could be said that i have changed a lot over the last year. I have learned a lot and grown up a lot.
A lot has changed and it all needs to be sited.
I have learned a lot about love
that there are all kinds. I have been asked a lot if i have been loved enough and for a long time i was really bitter about it. I felt like i had some how been shorted on love. Over the last year i have realized that NO ONE can be loved enough. You can only hope to be loved enough to get through your life.
There is no perfect definition for the things in life.
these days there are so many different kinds of healthy. There are so many different kinds of love, of sexuality. There are different kinds of needs and wants. Nothing can be defined these days. Nothing can be described. Everything is open to interpretation and as you try to throw your silly labels on everything. As you try and classify it and make it perfect so that you can sleep at night. You’re never going to be able to make everything perfect. which brings me to the next thing i learned.
The world...
is crazy and harsh. It is unfair and dangerous, it doesn’t make sense. But in those rare moments, the ones that come very few and far between, you can see just how beautiful it is. It can come in the form of a couple swimming, or a turtle, or even a child crying. Something so simple but at the same time it is completely perfect.
I will never be perfect.
As hard as i try, there are too many imperfections in human nature. I cannot try to make my body perfect because it is still developing it’s own characteristics. I can’t perfect my personality because i am constantly growing. But i can be perfect in my growth because it’s my own.
True friends..
are something truly rare. they will never leave you no matter how shitty you become. They are the milestone foundations in life. They are the people who make it possible for you to grow and change and support you every step of the way.
There is no way to avoid pain.
You must understand that to know happiness you have to know something to base it on. You are going to get hurt in life. It’s not that you shouldn’t try to AVOID it, it’s just that at some point you can’t stop it. You just have to let go and realize that you will come out of it fine. Just because it feels impossible doesn’t mean that you can’t make it out barely hanging on and pull yourself on your feet.
Sometimes...
Life is unfair. Sometiems life is beautiful. Sometimes life is beautiful. But most of the time life is unpredictable. If you spend all of your time trying to find out where life is going to take you next you’re going to miss out on all that life has to offer.
Opportunities...
should always be given a chance. Sometimes ruining a friendship temporarily makes it stronger in the end. Sometimes doing something crazy makes you really happy. And sometimes dropping everything to take that one shot can be worth it.
None of this...
will have an impact on you who read this out in myspace land. These are not lessons i can teach you. These are not things that a blog can tell you. These aren’t little snippets that you will get from grandma on your sunday visit, nothing i say can make you see all that i mention now. You have to learn them on your own and everything that i have yet to learn you will learn too. I am by no means done growing and i don’t think i ever will be. I don’t think that there is anyway to predict what else life has to offer.
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