Extraordinary Correspondence

Is anyone listening?
I write this letter to no one in particular, and it is written with an air of indifference, not anger, hurt, or loneliness. I write this simply because I feel no connection to the human race, and as such, have no one to talk to. Continually, I'm amazed by the human race, their choices, their decisions; Ultimately, I cannot identify with them. What is there to be done about what they have done. They took advantage of the earth, raped her of her natural resources, and still don't realize what a gift they have been given. Everyday, people choose hate over happiness. They come; Raping, murdering, lying, cheating, swindling, they come. Yet, none of them look at how lucky they are simply to be given the chance at life, to be given the choice to be a hero or a villain.
Sometimes it feels as though I'm merely an auditor of life. I live the life of a regular teenage girl, but without the attachment to me. This is life, not mine, nor yours; Just life. Occasionally, should excitement flood me, and should I feel a particular fondness towards something, a terrible fate befalls it all. Now I've done it again. I grew attached to him, but not for the reasons you'd think.
I was not looking for his "companionship", as one would assume. I could never turn around and do that. Had I even thought about it, I would have been reminded of my loving spouse half a world away. This "open-ness" was his idea, to save us both the hurt of physical betrayal. I won't complain either. Truly, I am blessed to have a man in my life that would realize who I am and the things I need to survive.
It is these "Needs" that lead me to him, primarily. He attracts my eyes. Somehow, for just a second, I get achy when I study his eyes. I see his shoulders exceeding the width of my own, and all I want is just the opportunity. Oh, were I awarded that opportunity, there is no telling what could come out of it.
It happened once you know. It really was spectacular. For just a moment within our stolen tryst, I am connected. This is my life. This is wood beneath me. There are warm hands against me, warming me farther than I have ever been before, and when I look up, his blue eyes have trapped me. They are so dilated I would laugh were I not moderately concentrated on other things.
What really grabs me about his eyes, if I may digress for a moment, is that tiny rim of green that surrounds his pupil. It's not that it's unusual or weird; Rather, unexpected conveys the thought more clearly. At first, they are "Microsoft" blue, until you get close enough to look into them, and then the green catches you. It's somewhere between spring green, and yellow, and it interests me.
Enough of that though, back on track we must get. As I said, I'm connected. I can feel your warmth, and I feel something stirring where I believe my heart was once. I must confess. Now that it is done, I am a little sadder for it. Now that we are no longer connected in a way that can't exactly be explained, I feel a little emptier for it, and desperation and extreme longing fill me.
I should clarify, just to make sure that the absolute point of this is correctly delivered. I am not longing or desperate for his companionship. In fact, this is the last thing I am looking for. Relationships were never my forte and I'm not sure that I will ever be able "To serve my husband and children and their every whim" as every good wife must. I am too me, for lack of a better term.
Truly, I am interested in the physical pursuits he can offer me. This is, of course, not the entire role I've chosen him to fill. He really does make a great friend. Funny, smart, cute, and he can keep up with me; I see nothing that would deter me from friendship except of course for the fact that I am not connected to him, except for that moment, and cannot, in good conscience, let down my guard, and join society just because he "intrigued" me. I must remain steadfast in my ways.
In this greatest mission's honor, I say:
I am human and yet, detached I stand.
I am human and yet, detached I stand.
I refuse to give up more than this shell and my friendship.
I refuse to give up more than this shell and my friendship.
I refuse and yet I stand human; detached.
My shell and to give more than this friendship.

To seek more than the physical reality;
To seek more than the physical reality;
friendship and shell suffer alike.
friendship and shell suffer alike.
The physical reality suffer alike;
to seek more than friendship and shell.

why does this frustration loom over me?
why does this frustration loom over me?
Consuming my every thought, I curse you for being intriguing.
Consuming my every thought, I curse you for being intriguing.
Consuming this frustration, you loom over me.
Why does this curse my every thought for being intriguing.

I dream dreams of you and this connection we have,
I dream dreams of you and this connection we have,
You have already dismissed me,
you have already dismissed me,
I dream dreams of this connection we have,
and you, you have already dismissed me.

Now, keeping this little mantra in my head, I send this letter out. I shall leave it here, in this rock cove, with the hopes that whoever finds it will be able to attach me to everything I'm offered.

Stuck in the Void,
Taliese.